Give It All Away

So I do not know about you, but I tend to be very "controlling." And I do not mean that I try to control other people and their lives. I mean that I like to be in control of everything in my life. I get in my own little created world and know exactly how everything is supposed to work. I want to have a schedule, stay on track, and do not want anything to get in the way and mess it up. This is the way that I tend to get things accomplished, and it works.

The problem: Who am I depending on?
The answer: Myself!

Where is God in this controlling world of mine? That is a very good question. When I get in that mode, even quiet time and prayer time is scheduled in. I have to remember that those should be the first things I think of doing, and I should never limit my time with God. But it is so easy to get in this mode, especially at this time of the year when there is so much to do before finals.

And you can imagine that when my schedule was literally blown away by the tornado that it did not settle well with me. Those first few days when I had none of my personal belongings (not knowing what had survived), when I was just sitting at home doing nothing was hard. I watched TV, would think about the tornado constantly, or sleep. My control was stripped away from me. This allowed me to spend time with God more.

Now I had not really gotten into a "routine" about doing my quiet time, and I was not limiting my time with God, but I was still controlling it. So I feel like one of the lessons God was trying to teach me through the tornado was that I am not in control! He is! So the answer to the question I posed earlier should have been God, but I can honestly say that before the tornado He was not the top priority (in some aspects). Although I did depend on Him for many aspects of my life, I do not think that I depended on Him in all aspects. God does not want to be Lord of part of our lives. He wants to be the Lord of our entire life.

So I encourage you to daily give it all to Him. If it seems like you have too much to do or you are tired and stressed. Go to Him. Do not try to figure it out for yourself. Do not depend on your own strength. He wants to help you, so go to Him.

This is just something I have learned this semester. It is something God has reminded me of time and time again throughout my life. I am not in charge. I am not in control. God is, only God.

Matt